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The Story of the Mug and the Whale

The Gospel of Mug, Ch. 1 Verse 17

But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow the Big Red Mug, and the Big Red Mug was inside the fish three days and three nights.

Chapter 2 Verses 1-10

From inside the fish the Big Red Mug prayed to the LORD his God.  It said:

"In my thirst I called to the LORD ,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the arid desert I called for a drink,
and you listened to my cry.

You hurled me into the refreshing, cold water,
and the ice cubes swirled about me;
all your carbonation
swept over me.

I said, 'I have been emptied
yet I will look again
toward the 7-11 fountain.'

To the throes of thirst I sank down;
the earth beneath yielded nothing to drink.
But you refilled my empty pit,
O LORD my God.

"When my beverage was sloshing away,
I remembered you, LORD ,
and my prayer rose to you.

"Those who cling to Styrofoam cups
forfeit the refreshment that could be theirs.

But I, with an abundance of beverage,
will be filled by you.
The liquid I have carried I will keep cold.
Refreshment comes from the LORD ."

And the LORD commanded the fish, and it spit out the Big Red Mug onto dry land.

With apologies to God and Jonah.
Read the real version of the story here.

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Copyright 2005 Daniel Woodrum |